Comfort Food

Comfort Food

When the soul is restless,

His flesh seeks for comfort;

Comfort for his shallow eyes,

his greedy bowels and his dignified pride.

He says, “Why can I not see what I want to see; be where I want to be or be who I want to be?”

All I know is that at the end of all the wanting, it makes me hungry, when I am not actually hungry.

Only that type of hunger is a dangerous enemy that almost killed me before.

Some say it was stress eating.

Others say it was comfort food.

All I know is that the so-called  comfort food lead me to another place of misery.

Two hundred and ninety-two pounds on a five foot nine inch frame;

Pain in my feet and swollen knees

Throwing up in the middle of the night.

Fatigue and night sweats,

I did not understand, at the time,

That it was my vices and my sinful hunger that was hindering my breath.

Every night there was a gasp,

Like climbing out of a swimming pool.

My uncontrollable hunger was a tool used by the enemy who was trying to destroy me.

All I could do was pray.

Lord I cannot do this alone.

I cried “Help me Lord.”

And He did!

Then, “help Lord, it’s me again.”

For, the sinful hunger has begun again.

I cannot began to travel that familiar lane anymore.

Take away this hunger and give me another.

One that heals my sickness

One that fixes my eyes and kills my pride.

Let me hunger for the food that kills my flesh and awakens me to who I am in you.

Let this be the comfort I crave.

Let your Word and your will for me be the food that comforts and saves.